La guerre franco-allemande de 1870-7Ig

As it happened, my temporary aspiration for this profession was in any case soon to vanish,

making place for hopes more stated to my temperament. Rummaging through my father's

library, I had come across various books of a military nature among them a popular edition of

the Franco-German War of 1870-7I It consisted of two issues of an illustrated periodical from

those years, which now became my favorite reading matter It was not long before the great

heroic struggle had become my greatest inner experience. From then on I became more and

more enthusiastic about everything that was in any way connected with war or, for that matter,

with soldiering.

But in another respect as well, this was to assume importance for me. For the first time, though

as yet in a confused form, the question was forced upon my consciousness: Was there a

difference -and if so what difference-between the Germans who fought these battles and other

Germans? Why hadn't Austria taken part in this war; why hadn't my father and all the others

fought?

Are we not the same as all other Germans?

Do we not all belong together? This problem began to gnaw at my little brain for the first time. I

asked cautious questions and with secret envy received the answer that not every German was

fortunate enough to belong to Bismarck's Reich..

This was more than I could understand.

It was decided that I should go to high school.

From my whole nature, and to an even greater degree from my temperament, my father believed

he could draw the inference that the humanistic Gymnasium would represent a conflict with my

talents. A Realschol seemed to him more suitable. In this opinion he was especially strengthened

by my obvious aptitude for drawing; a subject which in his opinion was neglected in the

Austrian Gymnasiums. Another factor may have been his own laborious career which made

humanistic study seem impractical in his eyes, and therefore less desirable. It was hus basic

opinion and intention that, like himself, his son would and must become a civil servant. It was

only natural that the hardships of his youth should enhance his subsequent achievement in his

eyes, particularly since it resulted exclusively from his own energy and iron diligence. It was the

pride of the self-made man which made him want his son to rise to the same position in life, orJ

of course, even higher if possible, especially since, by his own industrious life, he thought he

would be able to facilitate his child's development so greatly.

It was simply inconceivable to him that I might reject what had become the content of his whole

life. Consequently, my father s decision was simple, definite, and clear; in his own eyes I mean,

of course. Finally, a whole lifetime spent in the bitter struggle for existence had given him a

domineering nature, and it would have seemed intolerable to him to leave the final decision in

such matters to an inexperienced boy, having as yet no Sense of responsibility. Moreover, this

would have seemed a sinful and reprehensible weakness in the exercise of his proper parental

authority and responsibility for the future life of his child, and as such, absolutely incompatible

with his concept of duty.

And yet things were to turn out differently.

Then barely eleven years old, I was forced into opposition for the first time in my life. Hard and

determined as my father might be in putting through plans and purposes once conceived his son

was just as persistent and recalcitrant in rejecting an idea which appealed to him not at all, or in

any case very little.

I did not want to become a civil servant.

Neither persuasion nor 'serious' arguments made any impression on my resistance. I didAs it happened, my temporary aspiration for this profession was in any case soon to vanish,

making place for hopes more stated to my temperament. Rummaging through my father's

library, I had come across various books of a military nature among them a popular edition of

the Franco-German War of 1870-7I It consisted of two issues of an illustrated periodical from

those years, which now became my favorite reading matter It was not long before the great

heroic struggle had become my greatest inner experience. From then on I became more and

more enthusiastic about everything that was in any way connected with war or, for that matter,

with soldiering.

But in another respect as well, this was to assume importance for me. For the first time, though

as yet in a confused form, the question was forced upon my consciousness: Was there a

difference -and if so what difference-between the Germans who fought these battles and other

Germans? Why hadn't Austria taken part in this war; why hadn't my father and all the others

fought?

Are we not the same as all other Germans?

Do we not

...