Les Causes Du Divorce (document en anglais)

5 September 2014

The Causes of Divorce in most Marriages

Marriage is usually reserved for couples who want to live as one in eternity. Due to the intensity of emotions, most couples tend to rush in their decisions without preparing themselves for what makes a successful marriage. During the pre-marital stages, most couples tend to overlook certain significant information relating to each other’s past relationships, finance, as well as future goals. Some of the reasons for overlooking certain issues are that couples have the hope that with marriage, some of these issues will be a thing of the past. The most successful marriage is built on how one can confidently confront pre-marital issues during the pre-marital period which forms the basis on how one will handle issues during the actual marriage. Without successful confrontations of such issues, marriage may not be successful, or it will end up in divorce.

Among the reasons that lead to divorce in many marriages is the problem of lack of proper communication between the spouses. Communication is a powerful weapon of ironing out issues without which the process may turn out to be very painful. There is also the notion of being right, rigid with how one perceives issues, too judgmental, or being overly emotional. Other aspect of communication usually experienced in marriages includes couple’s avoidance of conflict and the loosing of emotional connection within the institution of marriage. This will usually occur when couples do not share opinions, and there is no attempt to resolve conflict that leads to withdrawal of one of the partners emotionally.

Marriages fail due to selfishness on the part of one of the couples. This tends to be portrayed in marriage through unfair distribution of work and responsibility within the institution of marriage. Selfishness in marriage can also take the form of one partner not extending emotional needs to the other couple. There is also the issue of one partner always placing his/her emotional needs before the partners only being responsive as a matter of convenience, negotiation, or demands, which leaves one of the partners feelings of being unloved. When these important needs are neglected over certain duration of time, it brings out the feelings of mistrust among couples.

Likewise, most marriages fail because of lack of affection and sexual fulfillment in the institution of marriage. When these needs are not met by one of the partners, problems will start arising. The lack of affectionate words and gestures in marriage makes love bring a sense of being hollow and not believable. There is a certain school of reasoning, which says that in marriage, one should not marry his or her roommate. Both partners, when consummating the marriage, expected a happy, active, and fulfilling sexual life. Chronic conflicts and anger dampen most couples feelings and willingness to be affectionate with one another. Continuous neglect of these feelings and neglect to satisfy the partner sexually deprive them of physically intimacy and may, at one point, make the couple seek it elsewhere if corrective measures are not undertaken.

The character traits of one of the spice are another reason due to which most marriages tend fail. These may be traits such as dishonesty, laziness, and mischief among others. The essential characteristics of a successful marriage are respect

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