Random Story Bill Brask

It all started when our protagonist, Bill Brasky, woke up in a pumpkin patch. It was the second time it had happened. Feeling overwhelmingly relieved, Bill Brasky attacked a mitten, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Almost immediately, she realized that her beloved iPad was missing! Immediately she called her friend, Leroy Jenkins. Bill Brasky had known Leroy Jenkins for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Leroy Jenkins was unique. She was outgoing though sometimes a little... clueless. Bill Brasky called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Leroy Jenkins picked up to a very angry Bill Brasky. Leroy Jenkins calmly assured her that most hamsters belch before mating, yet puppies usually flamboyantly cringe *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Bill Brasky. Why was Leroy Jenkins trying to distract Bill Brasky? Because she had snuck out from Bill Brasky's with the iPad only two days prior. It was a flamboyant little iPad... how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Bill Brasky got back to the subject at hand: her iPad. Leroy Jenkins panicked. Relunctantly, Leroy Jenkins invited her over, assuring her they'd find the iPad. Bill Brasky grabbed her piano and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Leroy Jenkins realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the iPad and she had to do it aggressively. She figured that if Bill Brasky took the truck, she had take at least seven minutes before Bill Brasky would get there. But if she took the Segway? Then Leroy Jenkins would be abundantly screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Leroy Jenkins was interrupted by seven selfish marmots that were lured by her iPad. Leroy Jenkins sighed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling exasperated, she aptly reached for her butterknife and aggressively grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the pumpkin patch, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Segway rolling up. It was Bill Brasky.

----o0o----

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of socks, so she knew she was running late. With a heroic leap, Bill Brasky was out of the Segway and went scandalously jaunting toward Leroy Jenkins's front door. Meanwhile inside, Leroy Jenkins was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the iPad into a box of forks and then slid the box behind her desk. Leroy Jenkins was relieved but at least the iPad was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Leroy Jenkins surreptitiously purred. With a quick push, Bill Brasky opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some abrasive idiot in a Vette,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Leroy Jenkins assured her. Bill Brasky took a seat outside where Leroy Jenkins had hidden the iPad. Leroy Jenkins sighed trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Bill Brasky was distracted. Almost immediately, Leroy Jenkins noticed a annoying look on Bill Brasky's

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